Soldier of Misfortune
by valeskathesilverwolf
Summary: Tired, weary, and distraught by Dean's anger, Castiel ends the civil-war in Heaven with an attack against Raphael. But when a tramatized Balthazar shows up at Bobby's with news, Dean isn't prepared to deal with the price of ending the war. His best friend's life.
1. Chapter 1

Raphael stared as the battle raged. Soldiers were falling; brothers were dying. I didn't matter. All that mattered was that he killed the pest in front of him. "Please tell me this is some sort of joke, Castiel. You really aren't about to fight me, are you?"

"You think too highly of yourself."

"Even with the weapons, your power isn't close to mine. If this really is your final stand, you are going to lose."

Castiel knew what Raphael was saying was mostly true, but there wasn't another way to go about this. All he could hope for was that while Raphael focused on killing him, Ramiel was fast enough to use the sword.

"This is the most idiotic plan you've ever had!" Balthazar yelled.

The other angels looked crossed at Balthazar. They murmured to each other. If they were experiencing problems between their Colonel and their general, what hope could they have?

"It is the best option we have." Castiel assured the room.

"What about Purgatory?" Balthazar tried desperately. "You were going to get the souls of Purgatory and use them to defeat Raphael. What happened to that plan?"

Castiel lowered his head. His eyes darkened. "It wouldn't have worked."

"Yes it would have!" He protested. "You won't go through with it, because the Winchesters doesn't want you to."

The other angels turned and looked to Castiel. They knew of their leader's infatuation with the human, but taking orders from him was another thing.

"He brought up a valid point." Castiel deflected. Balthazar moved to protest again.

"Enough!" Castiel commanded slammed his hand down on the table. The angels stood straight at attention. "You trusted me as your leader. This is the plan I've set forth. Do you not trust my judgement."

"We do sir." Ramiel spoke up. He was one of the younger angels under Castiel's command.

"If your plan works, then Balthazar is to take command?" Amitiel asked.

Castiel looked to Balthazar. His brother's face was red with anger. He clenched his fists in an attempt to keep himself from grabbing Castiel and beating sense into him.

"Are you with me, Balthazar?"

Castiel attacked first, flying at Raphael from behind. He clawed at the Archangel's six wings. Raphael swung one of his razor sharp wings at Castiel. The younger angel was thrown off of him He hit the tundra hard, blood spilled from his nose onto the ground.

"While I attack Raphael, Ramiel is to be given the sword.

"He is young, Castiel." Tariel raised concern.

The young angel fidgeted. Castiel signed and nodded. "He is the fastest."

Ramiel turned his bright green eyes towards his general. "You are the fastest, sir."

"This is true." Joshua concluded. "It's one of the reasons you were chosen to raise the righteous man from perdition."

The last thing Castiel needed was to think about Dean. His charge was furious with him. He'd convinced him that going after Purgatory was wrong, but Castiel didn't have time to make apologies. The plan had to be done now before Raphael got any more powerful.

"I taught you myself, Ramiel. I trust you do to this."

"You are pathetic, Castiel." Raphael said, as he kicked his brother's useless vessel around. The holy armor Castiel wore wasn't strong enough to absorb all the damage.

"At least I'm not a coward." Castiel spat. Raphael brought his foot down across a wing.

"No." Balthazar snapped.

"Balthazar..." Castiel sympathized and reached for his brother's shoulder. Balthazar shook him off.

"He will destroy you, Cas." Balthazar tried to reason with him. "You'll die a horrible, gruesome death.

"I already have." Castiel muttered. "I'm tired. Tired of the war...of everything."

"So this is suicide then?" Balthazar snarled.

"I'm not hoping to die."

"Then don't let it take you." Balthazar grabbed his brother's arm. "We'll find a different way. You don't have to do this."

"I'm tired of hearing that phrase. I no longer care if there is another way, this is my way. This is my mess. I started a war I couldn't hope to wind, and now I have to finish it." Castiel walked and ran a hand over Michael's armor.

"Dean won't forgive you if you do this." Balthazar walked to stand beside Castiel.

"Don't bring him into this, Balthazar." Castiel snarled at him.

"Is this not what it's about. Your human. You do everything he asks of you, no matter how he treats you."

"It doesn't matter anymore." Castiel told him.

"Your history with him doesn't matter?" Balthazar challenged. "I know how you worry over him, of all of them really. They've become your makeshift little family."

Castiel spun and turned I Balthazar. "They are my family."

"I'm your damn family." Balthazar grabbed Castiel by his coat lapels and slammed him into the wall. "You are my brother, but my opinion doesn't seem to matter to you."

"You left me. You all left me! I was thrown out on my own, hunted down, and killed and no one cared. None of my family grieved my death. They celebrated it, because they were finally rid of me. They saw me as they saw Lucifer."

"I'm here now. I'm with you, I'm fighting this goddamn war for you. I love you. What more do I have to do?!" Balthazar screamed.

"Balth," Castiel called to his brother by his childhood name. "You have to let me go."

"You can't ask me-"

"I can, and I am. If you truly love me, you will let me fight Raphael and you'll let me die."

Tears collected in Balthazar's eyes. "I can't, Cassie. I can't lose you."

"You've lived without me before. You'll survive, Balthazar. You always do." Castiel caressed his brother's face.

"Maybe...maybe dad will bring you back. He's always done it before." Balthazar tried to gather some hope.

"As I believe they say, the third time's the charm." Castiel grabbed Balthazar and pulled him into a hug. Balthazar silently cried into his younger brother's shoulder.

"If I tell Dean what you're doing, he'll stop you."

"Dean does not own me. He doesn't get to chose this for me anymore than you do." Castiel told him.

"He'll hate you." Balthazar told him.

"He already hates me, Balthazar." Castiel admitted. "It won't matter to me when I'm dead."

"You won't even say goodbye to him?" Balthazar asked as Castiel turned to walk away.

Castiel hung his head. "What could I possibly say to him?"

Balthazar shook his head sadly. "You need this for you. Give yourself closure, Cas. No matter what he says to you, you need to say goodbye."

"Thank you, Balthazar." Castiel told him. "For everything."

He clapped his younger brother on the shoulder. His smile was bitter-sweet as he looked at the armor. "You might as well put it on. Michael's not coming back. Wear it as the general of Heaven. Besides, you'll want to look good when the humans draw you in their books."

"Should I go?" Ramiel asked, Balthazar. They stood at the edge of the battlefield. Both of then watched as Castiel and Raphael fought.

"Not yet." Balthazar flinched as a piece of armor flew by his head. The two armies converged. screams and blood filled the air. Balthazar couldn't bring himself to count how many of their soldiers had fallen.

A scream tore out of Castiel's throat as Raphael snapped one of his wings. Balthazar's stomach sank and a pained noise escaped Ramiel's throat.

"But he's killing him!" Ramiel cried.

Balthazar knew that Castiel had mentored the young warrior. He was as close to Castiel as Castiel had been to Ana. "His goal wasn't to survive this, Ramiel. You know that as well as I."

The young warrior of god turned his head as to not let the Colonel see him cry.

Raphael sliced his blade downward and watch as it ripped open the younger angel's thigh.

"Give up, Castiel. Your men are dying, and there won't be enough left of you to tell what you even were."

"All the more reason," Castiel gave Raphael a pained smirk, "to go out fighting."

With a flick of a wrist, Castiel went flying. He groaned as bones have way to the ground.

"When I'm through with you, I think I'll pay a visit to your human. I'll let you die knowing that I'll drag him back into hell were he belongs."

Castiel pushed himself off the ground, and flew into Raphael with his sword.


	2. Chapter 2

"He's dead."

Dean stood stock still. His brain wouldn't except the thought, wouldn't even begin to process it.

Castiel wasn't dead.

Cas wasn't dead.

His best friend was not dead.

Sam made a choked noise in his throat. He stood up and started pacing around the room mumbling, "No," over and over.

Bobby sat his shot gun down and sat down on the couch. He took his hat off, before bunching it up and throwing it on the ground. He sat back red faced and angry.

Dean, however, stood still. "No."

"Dean-" Sam began, tears already filling his eyes.

"No, he's not dead." Dean stood up and paced around the room. "This is just some fucked up sort of joke. Cas is alive, and he's just messing with us." Dean spilt out quickly.

"I wouldn't lie about this." Balthazar growled at him.

"Cas!" Dean shouted. "Cas, get down here!"

"Dean-" Sam grabbed his brother's shoulder.

"No!" He yelled.

Balthazar eyes Dean with something close to sympathy. "Your lying!" Dean turned on Balthazar.

Balthazar broke. "Why is it so hard to believe, Dean? I'm covered in his blood! I held him as he took his last breath, as his chest heaved!" Balthazar paused. "Or maybe you can't believe it because it's all your fault!"

Dean sat back on the couch and stated numbly at the blood all over Balthazar. "He...he came to me in a dream. He wanted to talk. I...I was pissed, so I blew him off. He told me goodbye."

Sam watched as his brother bit his trembling lip, trying not to cry. "How?" He asked brokenly.

"He...He came up with a plan. He told me about Purgatory, which could have possibly worked if you hadn't changed his mind." Balthazar snapped.

"By taking all the souls, and causing monsters to go free?" Dean asked.

"I he hadn't listened to you then be would still be alive."

Dean shrunk into himself and waited for Balthazar to finish telling them what happened.

"We sent scouts out not long ago searching for an weapons they could find. They recovered Gabriel's sword, so Cas came up with the impossible idea that we could kill Raphael with it." Balthazar said.

"It worked didn't it?" Sam asked.

"Barely, just barely." Balthazar sighed. "The plan was for Cas to fight Raphael and distract him long enough for one of us to stab Raphael. But something went wrong, and the angel that was supposed to stab Raphael...well Raphael sensed him coming and turned on him. He came at the angel with the sword, and Cas jumped in the way."

The three humans closed their eyes and shook their heads. Dean blinked furiously at the tears in his eyes. "Where is he?" Dean asked.

"Dean I don't think-" Bobby protested.

"I want to see him." Dean stated.

Balthazar sighed. "Heaven doesn't want his vessel. He's...not there anymore."

"He went out a hunter, he deserves a hunter's burial." Dean said, more firmly.

Balthazar shook his head. "Very well. I can bring the body back here if you wish, but you won't like what you see."

"No." Dean said. "I want to go with you."

"Dean, don't do this to yourself." Sam said, pleadingly.

"Are you going to take me?" Dean demanded.

"Fine, I will. Just don't expect me to stick around." Balthazar said, softly. He walked to Dean and put a hand on his shoulder.

The two disappeared, and Sam and Bobby were the only two left. Sam wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. Bobby stood up and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "God." Sam whimpered.

"Come on." Bobby whispered. "They'll be back soon."

Dean landed in a church of all places. He stood stunned for a few seconds before looking around.

"Balthazar?" He called out. It seemed that the angel had made good on his promise that he wouldn't stick around. Dean took a shaky step forward and walked to the front of the church. He could smell ash and blood. His stomach was doing flips and his heart tried to prepare for the pain.

Nothing compared to actually seeing it, however.

At first he saw just the tips of the burnt wings, but as he moved closer he caught sight of all the horror. Castiel laid back on the floor. His blue eyes were dull and staring at the sky. Blood surrounded him in a puddle, and a sword was lodged in his belly.

"Cas." Dean breathed. Tears poured out over his eyes, and Dean didn't bother to hold them back. He ran forward and landed on his knees in the quickly drying blood.

"No." Dean shook his head. He carefully grabbed his friend up into his arms. With one hand, he closed the sightless blue eyes.

The first sob escaped Dean's mouth as a surprise. Others poured out from the wound in his heart, and he pulled Cas' body close to his, almost rocking it.

"Why? Goddammit! Why, you stupid bastard? I told you to ask for help. I would've helped you. You didn't have to die." Dean sniffled.

The sword lodged in Cas bumped Dean's chest and he looked down at the offending object. He reached out and gripped the handle and pulled it out. Dean threw the sword on the other side of the church.

"I didn't want it to end like this." Dean whispered, brokenly. "You stupid, stupid child." Dean lowered his chin onto his friend's mop of hair and cried.

"Dean." Balthazar appeared behind him.

"Go away." Dean growled.

"I think Sam and Bobby are getting worried." He said, looking down at the vessel.

Dean sucked in his tears, and stood up, careful to cradle Cas close to him.

"Fine lets go."

Sam heard them land in the house, and took a deep breath to rely on before walking around the corner. He wasn't quite ready to see the flayed skin and the deep stab wound that greeted him. "Shit."

"He put up a good fight." Balthazar murmured. He glanced up at the sky and sighed. "I'm being called. Cassy left me in charge of the mess up stairs, and it's the least I could do to make sure that it doesn't get ruined."

He disappears before they could say anything. Sam stared at the body in Dean's arms. Bobby walked into the room and cursed.

"The pyre is ready outback." Bobby told Dean. The Winchester nodded and looked down once again at the body in his arms.

Dean couldn't watch as Bobby lit the pyre. Tears prickled at his eyes again, but he wouldn't let himself cry. Cas had been a soldier and he deserved nothing less than a proper vigil.

The three of them stood still, all watching as the flames grew. Dean fingered the coat in his hands. Though it was blood stained and ripped, it was something to remember his friend by.

Night settled down over South Dakota, and when the flames dwindled down to nothing but embers, the silence was broken.

"He's really gone." Sam whispered in grief.

"Dumb son of a bitch." Dean grounded out, biting his lip to keep from crying.

They all walked back inside the house. Bobby offered to make food. Dean declined, just grabbing a beer and walking to his room. He fell down on the bed, the tan trench coat still clutched in his arms.

"I don't know exactly where angels go when they die, but I hope your at peace buddy."

"You think he'll be okay?" Sam asked Bobby.

The older hunter frowned. "Are you okay?"

"No." Sam tensed. "I mean none of us are okay now, but Dean..."

"I know what you're saying. It'll take time, and he'll hurt like hell for a long time, but he'll pull through." Bobby reassured.

"God, Bobby." Sam choked. "The last time we saw him we trapped him in holy fire and interrogated him. Some way for him to remember us."

"He knew we just had the world's interest at heart. If he hadn't he wouldn't have changed his mind." Bobby said.

"If he hadn't changed his mind he would still be alive." Sam countered, rubbing his eyes.

Bobby sighed and patted Sam's shoulder. "Eat something and try and sleep. It's not going to do any of us any good to just mope around. It's wouldn't what Cas would have wanted us to do."

"Ramiel please calm down." Balthazar pleaded as the young angel sobbed uncontrollably.

"It's my fault!" He weeped. "I forgot to cloak my grace before I went after Raphael. It's my fault Castiel died!"

"Shh." Balthazar comforted, drawing the angel close. "It's not your fault. We asked you to do something you couldn't have hope to prepare for. No one blames you."

"I blame myself. I'm sure if you told the Winchesters they'd agree with me." Ramiel choked out.

"No one will tell the Winchesters." Balthazar said, firmly.

"Because you know they would be mad." Ramiel said.

"Because right now they are grieving just as we are. Telling them would just enrage them. They need to heal. We all need to." Balthazar said.

"They should know the truth." Ramiel argued.

"No." Balthazar commanded. "That is the end of it."

Ramiel lowered his head, listening to Balthazar walk off. He knew all of this was his fault, and the least he could do was make it right.

"Cas!" Dean cried out in his sleep. Sam heard the cry from his own bed and bolted to his brother. Dean was locked deep in a nightmare.

Sam shook Dean's shoulders in the hopes of waking him. "Dean! It's just a dream! Dean!"

Dean startled out of the nightmare and sat up in bed. Sweat and tears dripped down his face. He covered his mouth with his hand and ran towards the bathroom. Sam caught sight of the empty beer bottle in bed, also the bloody trench coat that looked like it had been used as a pillow. Sam reached and picked it up. He could wash it for Dean, so It wouldn't be so disgusting as it was now.

Dean stumbled down the stairs. "Where did it go?" He slurred.

"I'm going to wash it, so it'll be easier to sleep with." Sam said gently.

"Oh." He said, and fell down onto the couch. His skin was ashen from vomiting and swear stained his shirt.

"Hello." Said a new voice.

Both Sam and Dean jumped. Dean went for his knife, while Sam went for the shotgun.

"I assure you those are unnecessary. I am an angel of the lord."

"Sure, and just which side are you on?" Dean growled at the kid.

"I don't understand." The angel said, and tilted his head. Pain flashed through Dean because the action screamed Castiel.

"Castiel or Raphael." Sam asked.

The kid looked offended. "Castiel of course."

Sam and Dean both relaxed. "What do you want?"

The little angel shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "I apologize. My brother talked of both of you quite often. I suppose I was curious."

"What's your name?" Sam asked.

"Ramiel." Dean didn't recall Cas ever mentioning that name in the time that they had known each other.

"His coat." Ramiel whispered, looking at the clothing in Sam's hands. He bit his lip and his eyes watered.

"Hey, just take it easy." Dean moved forward, unsure of whether or not to console the angel. Ramiel burst into tears in front of them and the tel humans stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

"I'm sorry." Ramiel cried. "I'm not use to these emotions."

Sam realized what was happening. He didn't see an angel, he saw a scared little kid that had just lost his big brother. "I think we've all had our tears recently."

The angel cracked a smile and glanced up at the Winchesters. Once again Dean felt the pain, as the angel acted like Castiel. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I thought you deserved the truth."

"What truth?" Dean demanded, furious at the thought he had been lied to again.

"What really happened when Castiel died."

Dean clenched his fist and bared his teeth. Sam urged the angel to speak.

"It's my fault." Ramiel said quietly. "When I went after Raphael I was supposed to cloak my grace, but I forgot and he knew I was coming. He was going to kill me, but Castiel jumped in the way. I messed up and my brother died because of it." Ramiel said.

"What?" Sam asked, because the kid really didn't have anything to be sorry for.

"So you're saying you fucked up and Cas died because of it?" Dean asked, harshly.

"Dean." Sam scolded.

"I know I can't make it right, but you deserved to know what happened and why he died." Ramiel finished, and turned to fly away.

"Wait!" Sam yelled.

Ramiel stopped and turned to Sam. "I know what you are going through."

"My brother raised me since birth, he taught me everything I know, yet I'm the reason he's gone." Ramiel told him.

"That happened to me a few years ago." Sam explained. "But your brother pulled mine out of hell. He gave me my brother back."

"There is one difference between your story and mine." Ramiel said. "Who is there to save my brother?"

Ramiel fluttered off leaving them alone again. Dean and Sam shared a look and frowned.

Bobby came inside through the back door. "Come out here you're going to want to see what I caught."

They ran outside to see what Bobby had trapped. "Crowley." Dean growled.

"Dean." Crowley greeted.

"What the hell do you want?" Sam asked, rudely.

"I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd drop by to see if you'd seen my business associate."

All three of them paled and tensed. Crowley raised an eyebrow. "I assume that's a yes, then."

"You bastard." Dean growled suddenly, and ran forward towards the demon. Sam caught him and held him back.

"It must be that time of the month." Crowley commented.

"The deal is off." Sam said.

"I'm afraid that you don't get to decide that, moose. I suggest you get Castiel to-"

"He's dead." Dean growled.

Crowley stuttered. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"The war is over. Raphael is dead, and so is Cas." Sam told him. "Purgatory is off. It's just a pipe dream."

Crowley cursed. "This is unexpected." He said. "I kind of liked the angel."

"Go!" Dean shouted. "Get out of here before I kill you."

Crowley didn't need to be told twice, as he disappeared immediately. Dean's face fell, and he slumped slightly. "I need a beer."

Sam felt the pain of grief of Castiel's death and Dean's pain swirl inside of him. He was seriously beginning to doubt that they would see find any happiness again.

"You have five minutes."

"I want to perform a ritual." A paper was handed across the table.

"This has never been attempted before. You are aware what the price is?"

"Yes, can you do it?"

"It can be done. I assume you would be the sacrifice."

"Yes."

"Who is the recipient?"

"The angel Castiel. I need you to bring him back."

End of Part II


End file.
